G for Games: gunning for glory

I like this game because I only have to compete with myself.
I like this game because I only have to compete with myself.

Whenever someone suggests we play a game, my first instinct is to groan internally. I like games, but I place unbearable pressure on myself to win everything from checkers to flag football to video games. Every time I compete, I risk the humiliation of losing.

So I can’t imagine the pain of athletes who lose their events in the Olympic Games after training so intensely for four years. They sacrifice time and energy to perfect their game, only to miss their shot at glory. The media walks away with an image of them wringing their hands (if NBC decides to show them at all). The message is clear: winning matters a lot. And the winners make winning seem easy. I like to imagine myself on top of the Olympic podium, but fail to include in my fantasy the endless practice hours and gruesome injuries that accompany every elite athlete.

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F for Fear: fighting fear of failure

Fear motivated me to write this article. Last month, I decided to weigh in on a controversial issue, then chickened out before I could publish the post. I had too many doubts. Was I mature enough to handle this topic? Did I get the nuances right? Did I have counterarguments for every possible counterargument to my arguments?

People who weigh in on controversial topics can legitimately be in danger. I’ve seen how a slight misstep in wording or intention could attract a horde of angry, even violent commenters. I’ve underestimated the bravery of all the writers who spoke brutal truths online.

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C for Cal: collegiate commentary from a recent Cal grad

Balloons in South Hall
Balloons in South Hall

It’s weird not being a student anymore. I’ve been attending one commencement reception or ceremony a day, trying to hold on to the nostalgia of being an undergrad.

Many people have asked how I feel about graduation, and I’ve managed to summarize most of my feelings in this farewell graduation column for the Daily Californian. While it’s ultimately a triumphant story, the 900-word limit forced me to condense my thoughts.

Here are some aspects of life at Cal that I want to explore further:

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B for Books: my biggest weakness and strength

credit: WhytoRead.com
credit: WhytoRead.com

My mom likes to joke sometimes that books are bad for my health. For example, they ruin my eyesight because I can’t help reading them even in poor lighting. Or I stunted my growth because these bookish thoughts took up too much of my mental energy. Worst of all, I lose sleep at night when I become too engrossed in a book.

My mom also encourages me to check books out from the library before buying them. But as soon as I arrived at Berkeley and encountered cheap, second-hand bookstores, her advice went out the window. I bought every book that looked remotely interesting to me.

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A for Airplanes: a foreign yet familiar world

aerlingus
The majestic Aer Lingus

This post is part of the Alphabet Project, where I write a post for each letter of the alphabet. It was inspired by Ash Huang’s Alphabet Meditations.

I have always loved traveling by airplane. I like seeing planes lined up in a row, decked out in their airline colors, with heads like bottlenose dolphins and massive wings like wandering albatrosses. Once I’m in the belly of one of those giant beasts, I gaze outside the window as it calmly glides over the tarmac, then whirs to life. It gathers speed. Suddenly, we’re flying above civilization.  

There’s a unique culture associated with the airline industry. There’s nothing quite like packing everything you need into a small case, falling asleep in a metal container traveling at 500+ miles per hour at a dizzying altitude, and waking up to find yourself in a foreign part of the world. I’m so familiar with airports and airlines now that I’ve come to take for granted all that I learn in the process.

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